12.31.2010 2:03PM

happy new years eve.

2010 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Stayed single almost the whole year? no
Were involved in something you'll never forget? yes
Tripped over a coffee table? probably
Came close to losing your life? yes
Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live? no
Did something you regret? yes

2010: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year? acquaintances
Did you hate anyone? i dont think so
Did you lose any friends? yes

2010: Your BIRTHDAY!
Did you have a cake? yes
Did you get any presents? i dont think so...?
Did you get what you wished for last year? no

2010: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year? yes
Did you change your style? a little
Were you in school? yes
Did you get good grades? good grades = all As. so.. no
Did you drive? yes
Did you own a car? i dont own a car because my parents bought it but its mine.
Did anyone close to you give birth? no..
Did you go on any vacations? yes
Would you change anything about yourself now? maybe but probably not
Did you dye your hair? no, all natural baby

2010: Wrap UP:
Was 2010 a good year? i learned a lot. it was painful.. full of heartbreaks and tears.
Do you think 2011 will top 2010? i hope so.
Best thing that happened in 2010? i really dont know.

IN THE YEAR 2010 I CONFESS THAT I....
Kissed in the snow? no
in the parking lot? yes at the beach? yes in secret? always
Had your heart broken? plenty
Painted a picture? no
Wrote a poem? no
Ran a mile? always
Visited a foreign country? um... no
Cut in a line of waiting people? haha no.. that's messed up.
Told someone you were busy when you weren't? heh :)
Cooked a disastrous meal? yes... too frequently
Lied about how old you were? lol no
Cried yourself to sleep? too many nights

IN 2010 I....
Broke a promise? yes
Lied? unfortunately
Disappointed someone close? yea
Hid a secret? yes
Pretended to be happy? im still pretending
Slept under the stars? no...
Met someone who changed your life? yeah but he left so quick.. i dont get it.
Changed your outlook on life? yes
Sat home all day doing nothing? all the time
Lost something expensive? um .. no
Learned something new about yourself? always
Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it? i dont know.. probably
Made a change in your life? i think so
Found out who your true friends were? yeah
Met great people? yea but he disappeared. i guess he wasnt so great.
Stayed up til sunrise? yes
Cried over the silliest thing? no?
Had friends who were drifting away from you? always
Spent most of your money on food? no... im on a diet
Gotten sick? yes
Liked more than 5 people at the same time? wow no
Became closer with a lot of people? nah.

----- another one ------

When did you meet the last female you texted? my house?
Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? totally
Are you currently looking forward to anything? yes...
Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight? yeah
Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them? no
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yea and love him to death :)
Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? too much about certain things
This time last year, can you remember who you liked? yeap
Who was the last person you went out to eat with? my girlfriends
Your phone is ringing. Its an ex. What do you say? hello?
Where is the person who has your heart at the moment? everywhere.
Were you single on your last birthday? no
Are you anyones first love? i dont think so .
Did anything brighten up your day today? my sister
What is one thing that is currently bothering you? almost everything
When is the last time you saw number 1 on your top friends? duno
When is the last time you saw number 3 on your top friends? duno
Do you want to cut your hair? i think so
Would you rather have roommates or live alone? live alone
Do you have any scars? yeah
Will you be in a relationship next month? i dont think so.
Do you remember who you liked three months ago? yes..
Has someone upset you in the past 48 hours? yea
What are you freakishly obsessed with? hahahaha...
What have you done today? eat. watch tv. bake cookies. make chicken wings. drink water and gatorade. laughed with my sister. facebook. surveys. reflection.
Who is the last person to irritate you? someone who shouldnt be irritating me in the first place.
What is the last thing you did before bed last night? brush my teeth
Is there someone who likes you? my parents, sister, friends, jesus\
What makes you happy? im not sure.

Is your profile private? yea

Do you trust people easily? not at all

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? yea

When is the last time you saw number 2 on your top friends? i dont really rank my friends

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? no..

How many true friends do you have? hard to say

The next time you will leave the city you're in? soon

Do you have feelings for anyone? im not sure

Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? i love it.

First thing you do when you wake up in the morning? check my phone

Have you kissed someone in 2010 that means a lot to you? yeah

Would you prefer being locked in a room with your ex or your worst enemy? right now.. my ex. i dont think i have a 'worst enemy'

Who was the last person that left you a comment? i dont know.

What's something you really want right now? yeah

Where do you go when you need to just get away? my room

Who was the last person to make fun of you? haha everyone.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing? always

What is something weird you have done lately? i do something weird all the time

Do you ever wonder if the person standing next to you is a virgin or not? haha no wtf

If you were going to die in 10 seconds, what would be the last thing you said? im sorry

Who do you go to for advice the most? UHHHHHHHHHHHHH jesus. i just pray

Can money buy happiness? temporary happiness.

Do you think women should work or stay at home? both

What's the worst thing to happen to you today? nothing

Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? yeah

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? my sister

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you'll get it? yea

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? my parents..

What's something that can always make you feel better? a hug and a kiss on the forehead

-----another one-------

1. What color is your underwear right now? white and pink

2. What are you listening to right now? footsteps

3. what are the last 2 digits in your phone number? 34

4. What was the last thing you ate? cookie

5. If you were a crayon what color would you be? invisible

6. How is the weather right now? just ok

7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? mom

8. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? physical hotness

9. Favorite type of Food? italian, korean, american

10. Do you drink? no

11. Do you smoke? no

12. Ever get so drunk you dont remember? no

13.What color are your eyes? brown

15. Do you wear contacts? no

16. Single? yes

17. Favorite Month? i duno

18. Ever cried for no reason? no

19. Last Movie you watched? despicable me

20. Favorite day of the week? none

21. Are you too shy to ask someone out ? no

22. Hugs or Kisses? both

23. Chocolate or Vanilla? usually, vanilla

24. Do you want your friends to respond? well, i dont contact them to be ignored.

25. Who is most likely to respond? purva

26. Who is least likely to respond? im not going to say hahahah

27. What books are you reading? bible

28. Piercings? two

29. Favorite Movie? anything that makes me laugh

30. Favorite baseball team? i dont really like baseball

31. Any pets? fish and a bear

32. AIM? yes

33. Butter, Plain or salted popcorn? um... im not sure

34. Dogs or cats? puppies

35. Favorite flower? thats a secret.

36. Have you ever fired a gun? a bebe gun

37. Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? depends where im going and with who

38. Right handed or left handed? right

39. How many pillows do you sleep with? one

40. Are you missing someone? yea

----------------

2010 ...
i turned 21 and didnt do anything with my horizontal license.
i went to bars and danced.
i went to cornerstone in cp for the first time.
i got my first C in the business school. damn you econ.
ive started to use foul language in my every day talk... no good.
i started to appreciate music more.
im single for the first time in 4 years.
i spent christmas and thanksgiving single for the first time in 4 years.
i didnt give anyone a christmas gift.
i started reading the bible again.
i lost 20 pounds and still going.
im highly fond of boys with motorcycles and tattoos and piercings.
i started to look for full time jobs.
ive gotten closer with my parents.
i went to atlantic city for the first time.
im starting to become a stronger person. letting go means deleting memories.
ive never cried myself to sleep so many nights in a row.
i realized i have high expectations... sometimes, too high.

2010, youve been a hard year for me. first semester of senior year was definitely not the easiest. you were full of heartaches and tears. ive only met one person who had a significant impact on my life... but he's gone. he's taught me to appreciate the arts more and to be a deeper person. but he doesnt want to be my friend so i'll leave it at that. ive learned to be a stronger person and i believe i can do anything. jesus has never left my side and he never will. i look forward to 2011 and most importantly, where i land for my full time position. goodbye 2010.. i will not miss you.

12.30.2010 3:39PM

being a good girlfriend is hard. being a good friend is even harder. being just a friend is the hardest. people come and go. when i meet new people, i give everyone a chance .. it seems the most rational. im never too quick to judge because its happened to me before and it hurts. if im trying to be your friend and start a friendship, why would you push me away? it doesnt make any sense to me. maybe im trying too hard to be your friend. yeah, like i said, i dont know you but that doesnt mean i can never know you. whatever. people come and go. you came and now, youre gone. ive only known you for three months but youve taught me a lot. but you'll never know. you wont give me a chance to be your friend. i dont know why im so bothered. i guess its because youre one of a kind. now a days, its hard to find someone like you. but, life goes on. be happy. i wont try to be your friend any more but ill be available if you need anything.

12.24.2010 11:15PM

merry christmas eve.

sometimes, the meaning of life is so blurred. im laying in my friend's bed just chillin wondering what we're doing with our lives. i realized everything in life cant always be so fast paced and sometimes, we need to slow down and enjoy the more important things in life.. like quality time with the people you love the most.

i think im still healing but im not sure. it's difficult to tell. i know for sure the feelings arent there but breaking a routine is hard. i make a lot of mistakes but im grateful because i become a better person. when this is all over, i'll be stronger.

christmas day is always special but it's never a hugely celebrated day. my family doesnt do the traditional big christmas party... which is ok but once in a while, it'd be nice to have a big shabang with the entiree family.

i just watched the fireworks music video by katy perry. she's such a gorgeous girl.

losing weight is the best feeling in the world. 15 pounds to go and i think i'll be good.

i really want some ice cream right now.

my current __something i dont know what it is__: motorcycles. tattoos. music lover. pierced ears.

im pretty sure im losing my mind over something so ridiculous. i dont understand why i do certain things and i wish i would stop. self control. discipline.

life goes on. im thankful for the friends i have around me to help me through everything. rebounding is not healthy. loneliness hurts. life is too short to hold back. im going to do it.

12.21.2010 2:29AM

people tell me i look smart all the time. not only do i look smart, i am smart. let me dumb it down for you. dont play games with me. its perfectly ok to raise your standards but ive never heard of anyone lowering their standards. youre really one of a kind. there probably isnt any one out there like you. i guess i wasnt the perfect girl for you because clearly, im not an alcoholic, i dont smoke, im in college, i have goals to achieve, and life is more than partying to me. i dont know too many guys who look for the kind of girl youre after. congratulations! what'd i tell you.. your next is going to be dumb as shit. dont you hate it when im right?

life is always full of surprises. im gullible but when its business, i know whats up. let me repeat what i said to you: you should be scared shitless.

my husband's qualities:
. God loving and God fearing
. family oriented
. successful - mentally and financially
. passionate about me and his hobbies
. athletic [football, bball, vball preferred]
. musician [guitar, piano, vocals]
. good family background + his parents will get along with mine
. healthy
. tall [at least 6'. sorry honey, im 5'8'' and i love to work it in heels]
. book smart and street smart
. handy man [knows how to do things around the house - like my daddy]
, respectful of me and whats important to me
. giving and selfless
. muscular... ;)
. exceptional personal hygiene
. doesnt drink or smoke
. wants kids
. lovable and honest
. does not have a short temper
. financially responsible
. funny
. will do anything for me.. literally
. will have pride that i am his lady and show me off to his buddies + coworkers, etc.
. loves cookies =D
. treats me like a queen ALWAYS

i have a bit of a potty mouth and im a lot to handle. i dont require much in a relationship but the one thing i want is, apparently, so difficult. well, yes, it does require a lot of effort and thought but usually, that is usually what is required from a boyfriend. i try to revolve everything i do around Jesus because at the end of the day, i still belong to Him. im overly anal about being perfect. i never do a half ass job on anything if my name is attached to it. im an overachiever and failing hurts. im not afraid to take risk but i always analyze the situation to the core. i have trust issues and i dont let people into my inner circle. once youre in my inner circle, i will make all the sacrifices i need to help you. i have high expectations for my circle of close people. im on a mission to lose 15 more pounds. someone once told me that he doesnt want to be friends with me because im fat and ugly. yes, im not the skinniest or prettiest girl in the universe but what you see is what you get. sorry. i love to listen to music and i dance in my room.. all the time. my guilty pleasure is cookies. i adore big shiny earrings. basically, im simply complicated.

im going to bed now. goodnight, blog readers (if any).

12.20.2010 420AM

i dont know what im doing up at 420AM. finals week definitely messed up my sleep schedule. whatever. i've been inspired. i used to obsessively use xanga but once facebook started, i stopped sharing my thoughts.

i created this account for me bmgt301 info systems class. i spent a few days researching on the burj al arab. such a beautiful work of art.

i'm not sure why i named this blog 'raw.' i wonder what i was feeling at the time. i want to start blogging again. i find it so interesting to read someone's blog. hopefully, someone will be intrigued by mine.

my eyes are starting to burn. im going to type with my eyes closed...i apologize in advanced for the mistakes. it actually feels really weird to type with my eyes closed. im so used to looking a what i type. i have a feeling i just messed up in the previous sentence.

it has been a rough semester for me. being a senior in college is exciting and all but it's definitely challenging. the pressure to find a job is on but i'm excited to see what new doors God will open for me. life goes on and things come and go. it has been a really tough four months for me. one morning, while i was taking a shower, the Lord spoke to me. "For I know the plans I have for you...." I believe this is part of a bible verse... good comes to those who wait... i believe it but waiting is sometimes the hardest part. Lord, please help me to be stronger and have patience.

this is all im going to write today. im falling asleep. thanks for the inspiration... you are really the best. i hope you come across this and enjoy like i have enjoyed yours. goodnight.