Renewal

Hello, unknown friends.

I shouldn't even be blogging right now because there is just so many things I need to be doing! Blogging relieves my stress because I'm sharing with you my stress - plenty to go around :) Work is still busy busy. I feel like I write about work all the time.. well, that's because I spend about 50 hrs a week doing work. I'm the kind of person that tries not to clock in overtime, due to budget cuts. Who does that? Who the heck cares..? I do. I know, I'm weird but I genuinely love my job and I'm so passionate about what I do.. which is why I reply to work emails at 11pm.

With these constant late nights and stress comes hard times for my body and my skin. Thankfully, I have not gotten sick yet and I dont plan on getting sick ever again! But, I do see my skin slowly started to depreciate in plump,freshness. I decided that it is time for me to really start caring for my skin. I want to age beautifully and not look like a prune in 20 years. Dior's Hydra Life collection is my love of the moment. I have no idea what my skin profile is but with all the information I've gained from reading Cosmo and Women's Health, I have combination skin - oily tzone and normal cheeks. I've been researching moisturizers for normal/combination skin and have taken note of a few that I'd like to try.

I went to Nordstroms the other day to just look around and I picked up Dior's Hydra-Life line. I picked up the eye creme, protective creme SPF15 (day), comfort creme (evening), and the purifying toning lotion. I tried to stay away from toners because I once tried Clinique's 3-step and that toner made me break out/rash/swell/ugly! But today, I learned the importance of toner.. or at least I think I did... it cleanses deeper than my face wash to really get the dirt out and give me the glow. I tried the eye creme and protective creme earlier this week and it is amazing! My student worker told me that I looked refreshed (even on 5 hours of sleep). I think I found a keeper! Check it out!

I also opened a Nordstroms card the day I picked up the Dior line :) I've been meaning to get one since forever ago because I spend so.much.money there. I have a beauty makeover appointment with a Dior specialists on Saturday at Nordstroms - I'm excited to see the outcome and what advice they have for me to make my skin ah-may-zing!

Lots of my lady friends RAVEEE about MAC products. I have not bought a single MAC product until today! I bought this liquid eyeliner. I'm excited to try it tomorrow for work! I have tried so so many different eye liners from Sephora, Ulta, Target, you name it but havent really found one that I can always trust to not smear, flake, or do funny things. I hope this is also a winner. (also purchased on my Nordstrom card).

The other day, I had a late night at work and was driving home around 10:30pm. I usually dont listen to Christian music but lately, I have been really into it. I didn't start listening to it because it's 'the right music to listen to' but I prefer it now. During hard times, I always remember who I belong to and that everything will be ok. He has everything planned out for me and no matter what I do, His plans will unfold. My relationship with the Lord has been very slowly going down for a very long time and I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to renew my spirit.

I lift my hands to believe again. You are my refuge, You are my strength. As I pour out my heart, these things I remember... You are faithful God forever. Let faith arise. Amen.

I hope you find this song as encouraging as I did:  Chris Tomlin - I Lift My Hands

Another great song that really encouraged me is Hillsongs - Desert Song . I've been going through some tough times with many different things and the bridge really spoke to me:

All of my life, in every season. 
You are still God and I have a reason to sing,
I have a reason to worship. 


I was just browsing on Facebook and a friend of my posted about a police officer's End of Watch. I have no connection to this officer what so ever but my heart just sank reading this. My prayers are with you and your family, Officer Bowden.

This week was busy but truly great for reconnecting with everyone. I'm having dinner with my childhood friends tomorrow evening, lunch with my coworkers tomorrow, and spending time with my high school friends on Saturday evening after our Dior makeover sesh!

Past midnight = way past bedtime for a work day! Off I go trying my Dior purifying toning lotion for the first time!

God is my victory and He is here.. and where ever you are!

xoxo, stazji! 

Aging

Friends,

Hello, again. Maybe the third time is the charm. After I posted my previous post, I kept thinking about what to blog next! How exciting :)

This week has been super busy. There are six large projects I'm currently managing at work, all to be completed this month or early next month. I've been really into quesadillas lately and made some of my own the other day. I was using a really small pan and was trying to flip the darn thing and it .. fell out of the pan.. onto the floor (hence, the white stuff on the floor). I'm usually a huge germaphobe but due to limited resources, I had to be gross. I picked up the quesadilla and put it back on the pan with some more -fresh- cheese.. It was going to be cooked again in really hot heat anyway... and on top of dropping it, I burnt that one a little (top three pieces in the picture). I then made the second one and it came out perfecto. Love is when you eat the burnt quesadilla that's been dropped on the ground and give the nice, pretty one to someone special.

Last month, on my way to meet my friend for dinner, I got my first speeding ticket by a cop. This is a *huge* deal because I've been driving for six years and have NEVER gotten anything. I took pride in being able to say that my record is clean. I guess getting a ticket also comes with aging - ugh!

With the advice of some very not so smart people, I returned the slip in the mail and said that I plead guilty and want to explain. I went to court yesterday (10.11.`12) and tried to at least get the point removed. The reason why I say the advice I got was from some very not so smart people is because half of the people that called up before me got their case thrown out because their cop didnt show up. I mean, I knew things like this happened but seriously.. I was pissed because my cop was not there. He could have not been there for various reasons... maybe because the people he pulled over were not being heard on that day or all the people he pulled over already pleaded guilty and just wanted to explain to the judge (like me).  But still...

My body was aching and I had so many things to do at work but thankfully, sitting there was entertaining. I really enjoyed listening to what kinds of excuses the people had. I particularly enjoyed two defendants:

1. Jersey Shore Islam Lady - She wore the traditional wear and had on these HUGE sunglasses that covered half her face. Basically, she started off by saying, "Listen, your honor. Let me tell you something. All yo cops are thugz wit badgez. They all lie-uhs". She went on about how piece-of-crap the cop is and how he is cruddy. Everyone else in the courtroom was laughing because this was like a scene from Judge Judy - ridiculous. The judge obviously had enough after 20 minutes, told the lady that we dont use foul language in the courtroom, and said she was guilty for all four charges. Sucks for her - it doesn't hurt to have some respect.

2. The French Weeper - I felt bad for this man and it was wrong of me to enjoy his story. Well, I had no idea what was wrong but it was really funny. He was like me - already pleaded guilty and just wanted to explain. He got up there and the judge asked the man if he pleads guilty or not guilty and he said not guilty. He said he needed a translator and started wiping his eyes. It seemed like he was wiping tears from the back but I just assumed he had something in his eye. There was a translator present who kept talking in third person.. "This translator knows basic French but is not certified" and she tried to help him out. The judge tried to get the translator to explain that if he changes his mind to 'not guilty' he has to come back at a later date so the court can also notify the cop to come. The French Weeper was not understanding and wanted to plead not guilty and explain why he sped. He said he was traveling next month and wants to come back to court in 2 months. He kept saying something like the 'children in my country' while bawling.. The judge was so frustrated and told the man to calm down because the worst thing that can happen is that he needs to pay a fine. This man was crying for a very... long time and then finally got escorted to his seat.

I was sitting there watching the judge and it seems like a pretty legit job. I would love to be a judge but I cant do that whole law school thing. When my name got called, I was a pro - aint nuttin but a g thang.  I was in the courtroom until 11:30am. My point was removed and I had to pay $80 + $33 in court fees... ouch. I come out to my car and guess what I find.. a damn parking ticket. Are you SERIOUS?! And it was by a cop that was in my courtroom. How ridiculous is that?

I get back to work and I'm really aggravated at this whole ticket thing. I go to the restroom to wash my hands and check myself out in the mirror... only to realize I have a shiny, white hair antenna that is smack in the middle of my scalp. Can this day get any worse?! I pull it out and bring it back to my office to show my co-workers (left). I was so upset and guess what.. someone brings me beautiful flowers :) I love getting flower delivery to my office and I love watching the flowers bloom day by day. I'm sitting in my office and my coworker walks in and asks me some questions. She says, "you have a white hair!" .. and I reply by telling her not to remind me because it sucks.. but she was like, "no really... you have a white hair.. another one". Total FML. I asked her to pick it out and here is the winner winner, not better than chicken dinner:

 

Piece of crap for real. I understand I have been very stressed lately but two white hairs in one day.. plus $113 and $45 parking ticket? ugh. I got home at 730pm and washed up .. only to notice that I have bags under my eyes. I have NEVER noticed bags under my eyes until 10.11.`12... NEVER.  I think I'm really starting to age.. I went to sleep as soon as I saw the bags.

 

Let me tell you something... getting 12.5 hours of sleep is more than magical. It's like zoning out and forgetting about everything in this world. I really want to do some online shopping right now but due to the two ridiculous tickets I had to pay for and my extremely expensive car payment, I will refrain. Sigh. I've been eating lots of french fries lately. It's really bad but fries are so good and they make me happy :)  

 

I remember when I did Xanga, I filled out SO many of these questionnaires. For old times sake: 

 

WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 10:02
NAME? Stazji
NUMBER OF CANDLES ON LAST BIRTHDAY CAKE? between 20-30
WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR? brown with natural light brown streaks here and there - it changes with the season :)
ANY TATTOOS?  Not yet!
HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE YOUR JOB ON A SCALE OF 1-5? 4.5
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?  it depends on what its for...
WHAT IS YOUR HOMETOWN? somewhere near DC
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD? A good salad; mom's cooking; fries; pasta
EVER BEEN TO AFRICA? nope
EVER BEEN TO CAMDEN? nope
EVER LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY? yes...
EVER BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT? yea, so dumb.
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? croutons!
SPRITE OR 7-UP?  spirte. 7-up gets too flat too quick
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE? unknown. i dont remember what i watch.
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE TOOTHPASTE? something VERY minty.
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE RESTAURANT? good question :)
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWERS? probably gerber daises
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE BEVERAGE? cold, filtered water
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? basketball and volleyball
WHATS YOUR PREFERRED TYPE OF ICE CREAM? cookie dough and mint choco
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE FAST FOOD? hm.. wendy's burgers & mcdonalds fries
WHEN WAS YOUR LAST HOSPITAL VISIT? i think june to drive my preggo coworker to the hospital!
WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR BEDROOM CARPET? wooden floors
HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU FAIL YOUR DRIVING TEST? zero but failed permit test once
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? no and dont ever plan on it!
WHICH SINGLE STORE WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO MAX OUT YOUR CREDIT CARD? i dont have a credit card!
WHAT DO YOU DO MOST OFTEN WHEN YOU ARE BORED? online shop and watch something on my iPad
 
 

 

I'm presenting in front of over 800 people tomorrow - wish me luck!

 

Goodnight, world. xoxo.stazji.

Third Time's the Charm?

Hola, amigos!

It's 12:21 in the morning.. October 9, 2012. I'm sitting in my bed and my hands are freezing. WHY in the world is it so cold today?

Apparently, I started this blog.. and then I re-started it and now here I am, trying to actually start this blog for the third time, hence the title. You know, regardless of whatever, I always start my blog for the same reason each time.. because I enjoy it. The other two times I said some thing like I really enjoyed my time on Xanga and AsianAvenue - that is true, very true.

Let's see... I dont think I've written a post since I have started my job so let me try to catch you up with my life. I currently work in higher education and FULLY enjoy my job. I've always had a passion for education and to be able to work in the industry is super cool and very self-fulling. There's something amazing about being able to share the opportunity of college and obtaining a degree. If you ask me what my ultimate career goal is, I cant answer it but if it helps, Michelle Rhee, former Chancellor of DCPS, is my role model. She's a very courageous lady and I def respect her. I was at an event for work and this random lady came up to me and told me she saw me opening up my own private academy. I looked at her like 'whoa, do I know you?' and then kind of got creeped out becuase I once wanted to do that. We talked and she actually owns an academy in Nigeria - pretty neat! I told her Michelle Rhee is someone I look up to and she said that's exactly what she was thinking but didnt want to say anything because I'm Asian.. lol?

Because I'm the only person at my organization who does the job, I have a very full and busy schedule. I'm rarely in the office because I'm always on the road, expanding my network and sharing the opportunities my organization has... which is usually why I dont really have ample time to spend with my friends.

I've been spending a lot of my 'free' time sleeping and laying around. My mom actually thinks there is something wrong with me because I LOVE laying down. You know, I never really appreciated sleeping until I started working. Thank You, Jesus for sleep - it is amazing. There is also this really cool piece of technology that I have been bonding with - The iPad. I do all my korean drama watching via the Hulu app, Facebook stalking, news reading, and online shopping.

Speaking of online shopping - its amazing. I rarely have time to go to the mall now because I usually leave the office pretty late and by the time I get in the car to go home, the only thing on my mind is laying down. Shopping itself is a sport - you get your cardio on by walking around the mall and your weights by carrying the shopping bags. Yes, you have to buy a substantial amount of items in order for the bags to be counted as 'weights' ... but that's never a problem for me. Seriously. Anyways, I'm too tired for sports after work so I lay down, grab my iPad, and let my fingers do the exercise. I'm sure they're tired from typing on the keyboard and texting all day but someones got to do it.

By the way, I recently took a words per minute typing test and my average is 104 wpm. wdup?  Try it here.

I was really into P90x and Insanity for a little bit and then I noticed I wasnt seeing amazing results. I started running again but stopped that. For me, I want immediate results - if I run three miles, I want to instantly see my waist shrink by one inch. Wouldn't that be so amazing? I recently got a Schwinn folding bike as a present and took it for a ride around Rockcreek Park. It was probably the most painful bike ride EVER because a few weeks before, I fell and did some unknown damage to my buttbone. So... the bike seat was replaced with an EXTRA WIDE butt seat - I'm a little embarassed but it feels so.. good.. to sit on that cushiony piece of gel? I dont know what it's made of.

Since November 2011, I have been sponsoring a 5 year old boy in Mozambique (Ido), who has the same birthday as me! He's too young to write me letters himself but he did try to draw me a nice pretty stick figure image (or something with lines and a circle) in pink marker. I'm pretty sure he knew I liked the color pink and used that color  - thanks, Ido! I recently sent him a bible and will soon be sending a package, including a tank top so he can play soccer in it, some stickers, as notepad, and a letter. I have a picture of him in my office and pray for him and his family every day.

Honestly, I'm supposed to be doing work right now so I can meet a deadline by tomorrow but it's not working very well. I"m tired and my neck/back is hurting from all this horse hair on my head. I'm drinking iced coffee - I was THAT serious about staying awake to meet this deadline. For those of  you who dont really know me, I rarely drink coffee. I say maybe three times a year max? It just gives me all sorts of stomach problems and I really dislike coffee breath.. like that shit stank.

Last Friday, 10/5/2012, I went to TGIFridays for the first time in FOR E V E R. The last time I went had to have been YEARS ago..maybe 3 years? Anyways, I had fried mozzarella and chicken bruschetta pasta. I mean .. it was aite. I thought the pasta was going to be delish but it def did not hit the spot like I thought it would. Now that I think about it, I havent had Red Robin in a very long time and I heart Red Robin.. I think their Royal Burger and Crispy Chicken Burgers are the best + nothing beats Bottomless Fries. Yes, I love fries. After that, I went to a car meet at the Trader Joe's off of Rockville Pike. That was just aite too... I very much enjoy looking at cars but I wish I knew more. The Infiniti G35 is a personal fav of mine and definintely the Nissan GTR. My ultimate fav is the Audi r8.. hands down. I saw one while I was studying abroad in UAE infront of the Emirates Palace and it was probably the most pretty thing I have ever laid my eyes on. One day, you will be mine, r8!

Speaking of cars, I bought my first car in November 2011 and let me just tell you, the car payments  are so.. expensive. I'm also learning to be sort of financially responsible and opened myself a savings account (finally). I love LOVE to spend money and I'm really good at it. Sure, you can argue that everyone can spend money but trust me, I probably do it the best... but I also learned that I'm really good at controlling my spending and saving money. I'm growing up, America!

I've been kind of keeping up with this whole presidential ordeal going on and it's actually pretty amusing. I know very little about politics and honestly, dont really care who wins because it is what it is but I like reading about Obama vs Romney.

Some random thoughts. I havent painted my nails in about three months? I was never allowed to paint my nails during my piano career so after I stopped official lessons in tenth grade, I was cray and painted my nails all sorts of weird colors. I've keep them clean for no specific reason but it's more profesh than neon colored nails. I really like Wendy's new hot&juicy burger- good job, Dave! It's McDonald's Monopoly time and I'm determined to win ..without gaining any weight. I had a BigMac for the first time in years last week and it was SO gross. I have been obsessed with buying jeans lately. I bought three pairs in three weeks? One each week sounds about right. I have 37 bras and dont know why I have so many for two (.)s. I actually never owned a Victoria's Secret bra until this year - I think they're overrated.

I wanted to share something but I dont remember what it was... well, I dont even know who is reading this blog! If anyone is reading into this, thanks for enjoying my life :) By the way, who are you?

I should probably get back to work so I can sleep at an appropriate time. It is 1:11am right now. Oh My Gawd. I thoroughly enjoyed writing and hope you tune in next time! Next time, I will try to incorporate images so you can visualize what I'm talking about!

ciao.xoxo.stazji.

07.18.2011 2:28AM

today is my one month anniversary with simba, bad baby... RML. i have a problem. i think i like him too much.. maybe even to the point where i like him A LOT more than he likes me. this isnt ok. i need some way to fix this problem but i dont know how to.. sigh.

he makes me happy... im happy to have met him and happy that he's good to me. xoxo <3

7.11.2011 1:04AM

JoJo - Marvin's Room [cover]

in the beginning, i regretted it. i was mad at myself for speaking without thought. given my past, it was the last thing i needed. i tried to figure out ways to reverse time, reverse my answer but it was too late. days went by, memories were made, time was spent. now, i think im in deeper than im supposed to be. im making the same mistake i made last time and i wish i could stop myself. its all about giving without receiving - its always like that for me and i wish it wasnt. i deserve to be happy and i deserve to be treated well. i shouldnt be questioning this early on - its not right and i dont want to be stuck in this kind of situation again. it all seems like a front... everything is so fake. there's only one thing he wants and its not me. i love spending time with him. he makes me happy and i dont want to spend a minute away from him but its not mutual. i dont think he enjoys spending time with me. i think im trying too hard to make him happy - always wondering what else i can buy him or what i can do to make him happy. why do i always fall like this? this isnt fair. at the end of the day, it isnt worth it. i'm done sacrificing myself for someone else's happiness. when will it be my turn?

do you still miss me? it's been almost a year and you drift in my mind from time to time. i thought i was happier but im falling into the same cycle. i feel your eyes on me. how do i look? sometimes, i can see right through you and it makes me laugh. are you happier now?

Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me I bet you like that
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her, I know I’m in your head
I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
Once you had the best you can’t do better
Baby I’m the best so you can’t do better


my heart feels empty.

2.25.2011 10:23PM

i'm supposed to be studying. that's what i didnt go to church tonight.
oopsie. i have my EDHD320 midterm on tuesday and i wanted to start studying tonight but i got caught up in applying for jobs.

i've never been declined from a job ... and when i got the email from Consolidated Graphics saying that they dont want me, it made me upset. the funny thing is, i didnt want the job but i went to the interview for practice. if anything, i learned to be less happy at interviews. i think if i acted more stoic and expressionless, i'll get the job. obviously, i should act differently at interviews, depending on the industry, but for business professional ones, i should definitely be -_- robot status.

i spend a lot of time on usajobs.gov .. trying to land me a government job. every time i see the word 'army', i think about you and your dog tags. i think i miss you.. miss laying in arms? miss the lies that you tell me..? something like that.

time to try to study now.
bye <3

1.31.2011 1:38pm

you never fail to amaze me. thank you. you have no idea how much i admire you. youre truly an inspiration to me. hopefully one day, i'll be able to share this with you