today is my one month anniversary with simba, bad baby... RML. i have a problem. i think i like him too much.. maybe even to the point where i like him A LOT more than he likes me. this isnt ok. i need some way to fix this problem but i dont know how to.. sigh.
he makes me happy... im happy to have met him and happy that he's good to me. xoxo <3
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
7.11.2011 1:04AM
JoJo - Marvin's Room [cover]
in the beginning, i regretted it. i was mad at myself for speaking without thought. given my past, it was the last thing i needed. i tried to figure out ways to reverse time, reverse my answer but it was too late. days went by, memories were made, time was spent. now, i think im in deeper than im supposed to be. im making the same mistake i made last time and i wish i could stop myself. its all about giving without receiving - its always like that for me and i wish it wasnt. i deserve to be happy and i deserve to be treated well. i shouldnt be questioning this early on - its not right and i dont want to be stuck in this kind of situation again. it all seems like a front... everything is so fake. there's only one thing he wants and its not me. i love spending time with him. he makes me happy and i dont want to spend a minute away from him but its not mutual. i dont think he enjoys spending time with me. i think im trying too hard to make him happy - always wondering what else i can buy him or what i can do to make him happy. why do i always fall like this? this isnt fair. at the end of the day, it isnt worth it. i'm done sacrificing myself for someone else's happiness. when will it be my turn?
do you still miss me? it's been almost a year and you drift in my mind from time to time. i thought i was happier but im falling into the same cycle. i feel your eyes on me. how do i look? sometimes, i can see right through you and it makes me laugh. are you happier now?
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me I bet you like that
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her, I know I’m in your head
I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
Once you had the best you can’t do better
Baby I’m the best so you can’t do better
my heart feels empty.
in the beginning, i regretted it. i was mad at myself for speaking without thought. given my past, it was the last thing i needed. i tried to figure out ways to reverse time, reverse my answer but it was too late. days went by, memories were made, time was spent. now, i think im in deeper than im supposed to be. im making the same mistake i made last time and i wish i could stop myself. its all about giving without receiving - its always like that for me and i wish it wasnt. i deserve to be happy and i deserve to be treated well. i shouldnt be questioning this early on - its not right and i dont want to be stuck in this kind of situation again. it all seems like a front... everything is so fake. there's only one thing he wants and its not me. i love spending time with him. he makes me happy and i dont want to spend a minute away from him but its not mutual. i dont think he enjoys spending time with me. i think im trying too hard to make him happy - always wondering what else i can buy him or what i can do to make him happy. why do i always fall like this? this isnt fair. at the end of the day, it isnt worth it. i'm done sacrificing myself for someone else's happiness. when will it be my turn?
do you still miss me? it's been almost a year and you drift in my mind from time to time. i thought i was happier but im falling into the same cycle. i feel your eyes on me. how do i look? sometimes, i can see right through you and it makes me laugh. are you happier now?
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me I bet you like that
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her, I know I’m in your head
I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
Once you had the best you can’t do better
Baby I’m the best so you can’t do better
my heart feels empty.
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